By Jeremy Whittaker
Psalm 130:5 I wait on the Lord, my soul doth wait and in his word do I hope.
I remember that during my teenage years my parents gave me much more freedom to attend more events, including sports matches and parties with more regularity. You can pretty much envision the excitement bubbling over inside of me every time I had an upcoming event. To be honest, even as a child I knew which parent had the longer ‘leash’. Consequently I would often approach my father and make all the arrangements with him, because he was more open to my adventures than my mother. That was largely due to my mother’s stringent criteria to qualify for such indulgences. Only when the arrangements with my father were finalized would I then inform my mother about the arrangements between my father and me.
It was quite the time to be alive; but it was also bitter-sweet. For every excited thought I would have, it would seem to be counteracted by an equally great anxiety. All of my friends had come to know my parents’ benevolence, and so they even planned their activities around me as well. It so turns out that my parents became the chauffeurs to and from the event for everyone, every time. Sometimes the car was loaded with six teenagers; on rare occasions we even had nine children (three in the car trunk). I would feel the weight of the responsibility to ensure that each of these persons who came with me would also return home safely, provided they were also scheduled to return with me. My anxiety would seemingly further double and triple when my friends would then promise other unplanned persons that my parents would give them a ride from the event as well.
My anxiety was so high, because during those years, my father sadly was not the most reliable for returning to pick me up from events. He would get caught up in his own activities, and then he became extremely difficult to reach, no matter how many cellphones he had. When it was me alone to get home that was fine, but when I had so many other children to take home, I would not only feel embarrassed but absolutely confused and deeply worried. The feeling is akin to being lost at sea on a small boat with no power; overwhelmed, going nowhere and utterly helpless. I recall a few times being the absolute last persons at the event; sometimes we were even there after the cleaners had finished their job! As a result, whatever joy I had felt from the event, was now overtaken by grief and shame, as I and the other children waited for our ride. I worried not only when would my father come, but if.
I spoke on that time because when I think on the topic ‘Wait on the Lord’, I recall the emotions of waiting. These anticipation, and the possibility of being let down put me in a place of deep despair, and filled me with the utter feeling of helplessness. If it were just me I would have made alternative arrangements, I would catch the bus, catch a ride or call a taxi. However I was responsible for other children, that I couldn’t just leave there (yes I felt these emotions from as early as 13 years old). I would remain staring at the entrance looking for my dad, because he promised me he would return for us. My mother would often say I know my dad and should not have made any arrangements with him; but I would always hold on to his word that he promised: ‘I will be back for you’. Unfortunately, many times he didn’t keep his word, he didn’t return on time, and sadly sometimes he didn’t even return for me and my friends.
Waiting is hard. We can also grow to expect persons to break their promises, based off of past experiences that we have had with others. I too tend to live with that expectation now in life. And I spoke on this so that persons could understand that feeling of being left when a person doesn’t keep their promise, especially in desperate situations. The Bible tells us boldly however to wait on God. In fact, it says in Isaiah 40:31 that they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; that they shall mount up like eagles, that they shall walk and run and not grow weary nor faint. With all that could go wrong, that seems like such a bold promise and an even greater guarantee that we will not be let down.
When we wait on God, for whatever situation, we wonder often will He show up and when will He show up. We also spend our time looking at where we expect deliverance to come from, and it seems like He will not show. However, walking with the Lord has taught me and shown me something completely different however. He is not like any man that we know, He has never made a promise that He hasn’t kept. His word says He holds His word above His very name, while men hold their name above their word. By the way, my father has gotten so much better at keeping his word. However unlike my father during my teenage years, I have never been left to wonder will He, or can He, but I have always found that it is, when will He. While I might deem something as an urgent need, I have found His timing to be perfect upon further reflection. He remains able, and faithful to me. So I encourage you to wait on the Lord. His timing is perfect, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Duet. 31:6)
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